01.08.08

Happy New Yawn peepholes. Working on some updates to the site so excuse the slightly outdated nieuws. Stay chuned and sheeit.



06.15.07

Hey kiddies. An update from the schmuck known as $mall ˘hange i.e. me, from my secret lair miles beneath the earth's surface. If you want off this list no problem, in fact congradulations! You've been entered to win my collection of magic nose goblins! Stay chuned...

Many tings gwan here at HQ. First off, TOMORROW, i.e THURSDAY, we have the Pure Fire ting-a-ling going on at APT, heavy heavy munster sounds and guest DJ Shotnez aka Ori from Balkan Beat Box. FRYDAY there's yet anotha Rubulad throw down, I might be spinning in the wee wee hours but I've booked a slew of quality selectahs to do yer head in all night. Finally, on the slight horizon tip, NEXT SATURDAY the 23rd I'm putting together a sick semi-little loft party with Jen Lyon, called 'Lose Your Shit'.

Welkommen to my island. Set phasers on Retardo Montabon. Keep scrollin' down down down for the info. I'm listing the last thing first just to confuse y'all. Just scroll yer boat already, the info is fucking there! Oh Jebus.

NEXT SATURDAY (June 23rd..i.e. NOT this Saturday)...Lose Your Shit

$˘ and Jen Lyon aka MeanRedProdctions bring it to ya live and motherfuckin' direct. Lose your concepts of genre. Lose your pretentous chin scratching. Lose your bad taste. Check your body at the door and prepare to LOSE YOUR SHIT on the dancefloor, in the bathroom, on the street, in the cab, and on the porcelin bus. Ok, a little too graphico. Take care of yourself for goddamn sake but definitely get shakin', cos this will be a dope little after after hours loft thing not to be missed.

Drinks, big ass roof deck, chunes til 7am, boomin' sound, sick little DJ lineup of seasoned booty bouncing pro-feshionals. We don't play so you can play harder. People who know the balance between the real shit and you having a good time. Music 1st ppl. Fuck the trash. And stop sayin' this town sucks, there's nothing going on. Yes NYC has its commercial bullshit, but we've gone and done something about it, so to misquote Steve Reich, come out and show them. Come on down and spin the showcase showdown. You will land on that glittery dollah and we will be giving away a full dinette set at the end of the night, you just have to haul it away...by foot.

Thee selectahs.

Tim 'Love' Lee needs no intro to the scenesters, his Tummy Touch label has been running for eons and his productions/selections are always on point. He's versed in many genres and isn't afraid to mix yer shit up and out.

Duane, part of the Negroclash trio and staple behind Other Music for years, is a longtime soldier in the field, we've done many many gigs together through good times and better times, from WFMU benefits to droppin' Zalatnay years before the eastern you're-a-peein' madness. Expect some pitched up 'Ladybug' at some point or Theo's uglier edits.

Starting off we have one of my fave mofos in the shitty, the esteemed Queen Majesty of the Deadly Dragon crew. Named after the essetial Techniques joint, Erica spins a killer killer set of reggae/dancehall old/new. Get educated f'real.

Late night we have the Trouble n' Bass crew, Star Eyes, Mathhead, Zack Shadatek. A superstar DJ crew with folks that know/live/kill this game. Star Eyes day/night job is the editor of XLR8R, a looong running real deal US muzak zine, all of them doing nice grimy productions, czeck it out czeck it out.

Somewhere in the middle and towards dawn you find mice-elf $˘ droppin' beats not bombs. Well maybe the latter, I do loves me some Trouble Funk. Seriously, this is the shit I live for as a DJ so expect my favorite shit. Total dancefloor descruction, the only solution, to quote DJ Scud.

MeanRed n' $mall ˘hizz bring you

Lose Your Shit

a loft thang.

with...

Tim 'Love' Lee
Trouble n' Bass
Duane
$mall ˘hange
Queen Majesty


10ish to 7ish
10 bones
172 Classon
tickets at ticketweb.com



THURSDAY (i.e. TOMORROW)...Pure FIre.

While the corporate infidels and Visigoths currently invading NYShitty have taken over the Tonic space (soon to be another condo complex, get your bids in now!), Pure Fire lives on, now at APT, one of the last places in Manhattan still supporting real deal DJ culture. Our first night was off the weezie (puffer not included) with all 5 residents throwing down plus sssmokinŐ selections from the 3 turntable wonder known as DJ /rupture, fresh from Barcelona to Brooklyn.

While weŐre slated for around the 1st Tuesday of the Month at APT on a regular basis, in June weŐre actually throwing down on a THURSDAY, JUNE 14th. This next installment of super dope raw as fuck funk dancehall crunk grime dubstep ragga jungle whatever beats takes an eastern euro twist as we welcome DJ Shotnez, aka Ori from Balkan Beat Box. When not fronting one of the best gypsy punk bands on the scene, Ori aka Shotnez can be seen behind the digital decks throwing down ill ill shit, from bhangra to Balkan faves, always with the dancefloor in mind. His late nights sets at Rubulad and Nublu have always destroyed, do not miss, especially on APTŐs very sick Funktion 1 soundsystem in the basement.

With your usual cast of demented characters joining in. Peter Gunn, whoŐs constantly digginŐ the ill shit up whether its out of print scribbled on grime 12Ós or montreal garage 7Ós; N-Ron Hubbard, droppinŐ baile funk and beyond for yoŐ booty; Reaganomics, whoŐs got skills to pay the bills and the crates to back them up; Criterion, founder of Broklyn Beats rekkids/distro and always with an ear for the ill shit; and $mall ˘hange, who simply has more records then he knows what to deal with.

How many folks are there are just feeding/recycling the hits? Has DJing become some jukebox shit? Do we need to hear the same frigginŐ song 3 times in one night? People, people, ppl. Get a frigginŐ clue and clue into some frigginŐ. Real schitt. Heavy heavy monster sound. DonŐt test us. We destroy mofos.

Pure Fire
THURSDAY, June 14th (next one is TUESDAY July 3rd)
Reaganomics, $mall Change, Peter Gunn, N-Ron Hubbard, Criterion
Especial guesto: DJ Shotnez from Balkan Beat Box
@ APT, 419 W. 13th btw 9th and Washington
No cover. Open bar 9-10. Goes til breakfast at Florent.
Be thurr!


FRYDAY (i.e. the day after tomorrow)...Rubulad.

While I'm takin' a break from an official slot this time around (coporate gigs make the world go 'round, or at least allows me to buy more rekkids), Rubulad still chugs and chugs on like an octopos designed beer bong. Well, a little more classier then that. But not by much. Another demented par-tay with Bands, Caberet mofos, and of course DJs providing the soundtrack to mind expansion/explosion/burn out/hungover/why god why did I have that last PBR? Well, how you feel it is up to you, but remember this kids...safety THIRD.

For ze selectors, early on we have something quite dope. A record store battle if you will, with Marty Violence, one of the main buyers at Academy, going square up against Gimmee Gimmee Dan of, you guessed it, Gimmee Gimmee Rekkids. These two have the ill na na random rap, psyche, funk, disco, whatever...its grand canyon deep when it comes to rarities. Should be something to catch, so come on down before the masses.

As the night progresses we have longtime Rubulad resident DJ Catalyst, who used to run the Happy Birthday Hideout back in the day in the now current Rubulad space. You snooze/lose but not really, cos he still spins the uber dope selections, and has promised a nice little raw as fuck rawk set for the bar room during primetime. In the other corner with have Sports Casual, a transatlantic B-Boy from another time/space with quality selections for you to spin on your head. Check out his funky friday throwdowns at Lucky Cat where many a Daptone superfunky superstar have rolled thru.

For the late late show we have two of my trusted party peepholes, Justin Carter and B-Dub. Justin is quite the man about town booking APT, the Water Taxi Beach (fuck Harry), and yer mom's basement...ps don't tell mom. Besides I saw her, she's--ok enough with the sui-ey tendencies. B-Dub will be vibing the bar room with brazilian to breakbeats to funk to punk to exotica, man has lived thru many eras from rooming with basquiat to shooting album covers for tone loc to collecting 60s japanese girl gang movies. He's currently got a nice lil' thang going with Bazooka Joe. A perfect imaginary soundtrack for the cracked out set.

Note: this is a private invitation for you and friends. Please do not forward, post or circulate this to any public lists or websites.
We do have limited space and will close the doors if necessary. We recommend you come early and bring ID as this event is 21 and over.
Please do your part, as we're trying to provide you with the best event possible.

Rubulad presents
Pantheistic Panty Raid!
Friday, June 15

Bands:
Julz A's Squeeze Rock
Queen May and The Bells
Electric Junkyard Gamelan
I Love You Airlines


DJs:
Gimme Gimme Dan
Marty Violence
Sports Casual
Catalyst
B Dub
Justin Carter

Cabaret Stage:
Dark Dark Dark
Dame Darcy
Moist Paula's Secretary
DJ Aaroneous


Plus:
Special performance by Bruno Wizard of The Homosexuals
Amy Shapiro as Shiva
Norm Francoeur's Light Circus
Nubile Fruit-Bearing Deities
Late-Night Panty Sacrifice
Food by Vicious Delicious
Sweets by Brownie Points

In the starlight Lounge:
G Scopitronic's Non-Stop Film Fest
Jptr
Yummy Bar-B-Que
and more!


Dress: it's a sexy god and goddess thing.

10 beans before 11:00, in costume or way late; 15 beans otherwise; 21+ w/ ID, please.
Rubulad Home Base: 338 Flushing Ave., bet. Classon & Taaffee L train to Bedford Avenue > B61 bus on Driggs to Flushing Ave (10 mins) > left under BQE > Rubulad's on your right just past the gas station *OR* J / M / Z to Marcy Ave > walk along BQE > left under BQE at Flushing.
Or G Train to Classon, walk on Classon to Flushing
Note: The B61 bus runs from Greenpoint to Red Hook through Dumbo and Downtown Brooklyn. The B57 bus will take you to and from Bushwick, fast.
You can help us continue to have a Rubulad in this space by being quiet coming and going, staying inside the space during the event and not pissing all over the sidewalk as soon as you get around the corner Đ which, incidentally, does attract the police and they will write you a summons.
The less our neighbors have to complain about, the more fun we can have.
Please do not respond to this email. Use chris at spill dot net, thanks


12.20.06

Hey...ho....hey....ho...hip hop horray....you hos...

$mall ˘hi-˘hi-rodriguez with s'more of satan I mean santa cheer to add to that flask you keep in the suit pocket. Whether its Oban or Makers or John Powers or Early Times (uggg....) rest assured about one thing...a flask is made for whiskey, bitches! Get it straight and save your stoli for bloody holy marys on xmas morning!

Of course if this is booorrring you (i.e. all you bored ass boring mofos) then pull the handbrake (aka my middle finger) and get off this dondi-era tagged up number 5 line of a email list. I'll sink yo' ass like a slow rollin' 8-ball over sonomas felt (RIP chelsea billards).

To quote WC: Never give a sucker an even break.

To quote G-starr: Suckas Need Bodyguards.

To quote www.elchupacabra.com:

El Chupacabra - Means "the goat sucker" in Spanish.

Named because of the way it sucked all the blood from Puerto Rican goats, the Chupacabra has been leaving fear in its tracks for many years now.

First spotted in Puerto Rico in 1994, the Chupacabra has since migrated off the island and has recently been spotted in many locations including many clubs in the meat packing district, aka stinky south beach. Although it was named because of its choice of goat-blood as a meal, the Chupacabra has reportedly attacked and devoured the blood of a wide variety of animals including Kenny G and Michael Bolton fans. As far as we know, there have yet to be any human fatalities.

Due to the distinct technique the strange animal has of killing its prey, it is very easy to tell if the Chupacabra was involved in an animals death. Animals are found with puncture wounds in their neck, used condoms around their scrotums, most of their blood removed, and a small bag of gay porn and bottled water at the scene ala Heathers. Often, the victim's organs have disappeared even though the only wound is a small hole in the animal's neck. I had a girl do that to me once...

Ok, okay! These emails seem to get worse and worse. Get to the fucking point already! We've all seen Duck Amuck! Lets get this friggin' picture started!

Biggee $mall$ comes correcccht with another week of madness as if we could top the all day insanity of santacon last weekender. I'm still recovering, just in time to jump back in, yes, that's right kids, my B-DAY WEEKEND SPECTACULAR.

$mizzle ˘hizzle turns the rip age of 45rpm this saturday. And since I ALWAYS party like its $19.99 I can' t just do one day, no no no ala Dawn Penn. But I also can't work tooo much, cos life is...Too Short. Freaky Tales indeedy. So I got some quality guest sets Thurs/Fri/Sat where I'll spin a bit but also be hanging out. I know, what a concept for me...come from behind the decks for a minute and actually chill the fuck out. And then run and hide and spin s'more records after I realize how fucked up all you motherfuckers are. I keed, I keed. So yeah, nothing super planned, but if you happen to be in the area with your Dazed and Confused era paddle and feel like giving me a spanking, well...take a number! But would be good to see you, and you, and you...and yes, even YOU. F'real. Jeez! People are so damn sensitive!

Also, on the horizon, I'm doing a somewhat organized party (what a friggin' concept!?) with Dave P (Rebound aka the Water Taxi Beach parties) and Jen Lyon (Mean Red Productions, promoter supastar) on Dec. 29th. The party is called the Professionals since NYE is officially amateur night (you DO know this people, right?!). So we thought we'd do something Friday of NYE weekend for folks who want to get down f'real. Info at ze bottom and another lil' reminder next week.

The short shorts list (we like short shorts...). 3 flavors to choose from!

Thurz: Scratch Perry sideman Glen Adams and mice-elf at Galapagos. Droppin' super stoopid heavy reggae, rocksteady, ska, dub, dancehall.

Fry: Me and Monk One doing damage JVC Force style at Black Betty. Quality weekend bump and grind shit, roller disco, tru-skool hip hop and rapp, muy caliente salsa and batucada and whatever else works.

Saturnz: A little undisclosed techno/electro oft ting at a semi-secret location in billyburg. Expect the finest in highbrow geto haus (work that booty!), vintage 90s 'ardcore (pacifier NOT included), torqued out miami bass and electro, and maybe some techno. Yes $˘ spins a lil' fucking techno. News at 11 and shit.

29th: The Professionals, multi room throwdown with Wajeed (Platinum Pied Pipers), Nickademos (Turntables on ze Hudson), The Bangers, Jamal (Turntable Lab), Saheer (Tokion), and mice-elf plus others. And maybe some other people too. At 49 Ann St. space DOWNtown.

Thrus Thrusdu Theusysa Thureadya thursday Theosauraus...

Nice little ting happening at Galapagos Art Space (why don't they just call it a friggin' bar already!) with legendary reggae session keyboardist Glen Adams performing with the Jammyland All Stars. If you know Lee Scratch Perry classics like 'Return of Django', those organ lines are all courtesy of Mr. Adams, who's been in various groups since the early 60s (Hippy Boys reprezant!). Homeslicity played with Augustus Pablo, the Heptones, the Pioneers, as well as playing on my fave Bob sides like Soul Rebel, Small Axe, Duppy Conqueror, etc. Dude is extremely OG Black Ark original gangsta. Also on the bill are longtime NYC reggae/ska man on the scene King Django, with the Subatomic Soundsystem, and mice-elf and Benny Beats on ze ones/twos. I will be diggin up a lot of hard hitting rusty dusties for this event, plus a few 80s/90s classics to keep the punters drinking their pints (remember, its an ART space!). The fine vinyl archeology zine/quarterly/tome Wax Poetics has also decided this will be their holiday magazine release party, so try and grab a copy if you can. Should be a nice event for heads.

Thursday, December 21, 2006
Glen Adams with the Jammyland Allstars
King Django with the Subatomic Soundsystem
DJs $mall ˘hange and Benny Beats
(I'll be doing a few sets throughout the night, towards the early side...)
8:00 PM - 3:00 AM
cover: $7.00 | $7 in advance, $10 at the door
open bar 9pm-10pm courtesy of brooklyn breweries
Wax Poetics holiday release party (Lee Scratch on ze cover)


Galapagos Art Space
70 North 6th St.
between Kent and Wythe
Brooklyn, NY 11211
http://www.galapagosartspace.com


Fryd Drday Friday Driveby Fried Green okra wintrhopy Frygusy

Monk One has been a farce, I mean force (I keed, I keed) on the NYC for like 15min. I know 15 minutes doesn't seem like a long time, but if you put your dog in the microwave for that long, well...ok. Lets start over. Again, these emails are getting worse and worse as I spiral downward and downward. But getting to Monk, dude is a serious motherfucker, much much respeck. 1/2 of the Together Brothers with the equally esteemed Emskee, homeboy holds down a regular column dedicated to 12s in Wax Poetics, longtime resident for WBAI's Underground Railroad show (and occasional 'Rare Radio' showcases), been diggin' for EONs and has crates for daze. Not your bedroom collectro by a longshot, Monk has been a professional working DeeJay for over a decade and knows his craft. From the heaviest funk and rock breaks to boogie oogie oogie til you just can't take it no more, hip hop and you don't stop to spliffed out reggae sides, its always a good balance of edutainment, the real party jams, the hard hitting underground steez. Keeping it real has never been so easy and that's why you need to shoutout the mofos that are still doing in the park, doing it after dark. Anyways I'll be bringin' some ass shaking sides and will be looking forward to trade sides on the decks with some of NYC's royalty and on the dancefloor with y'all.

Black Betty Fridays
Monk One
especial B-day set by Poquito Cambio
MC duties by G-Man
10pm-4am
(I'll prob be hangin' from 11ish til whenevers)
No cover
dancing (what a concept?!)

Satduafdy Dsausya Snausages Saturday Saturnz Returns bad goldie dnb daze

This one's on the DL people, cos its a friends place and I'm not sure how many folks he wants to show up or have this forwarded around. (Not that anybody actually comes to my parties anyway! Look this email shit isn't a joke (or is it?), get off yer ass and come down bob barker style since he's retiring this year!) Anyways its a lil' xmas-y gathering for some downtown techno minded folks. Unfortunately they've mistakingly asked me to also play a bit, so you know I'll be throwing a lil' monkey wrenchery in the mix. But I'm also doing a lil' can't we all just get along rodney king style and will spin some techno. Yes biatches, I have a lil' techno here and there. Where is it? Um, not sure. Need to reorganize the stacks badly...any takers? But yeah should be a slightly different set for moi and if you're interested hit me back and I'll send ya the info. Just be nice cos its a haus party.

Saturday
b-day boy $˘ plus a bunch of other drunken folks gets messy
somewhere in billyburg
trucker hat NOT included
earlyiish to probably extremely late


Dec 229292929929299229999992292929

Got together with a few folks and we had this little nutty idea. Since NYE falls on a sunday, and lotsa drunk mofos are usually in town getting stoopid all weekend, we thought having a quality shindig on that friday night could be a good ticket to...nowhere. And fast. Thus, we presente:

The Professionals

Floor One

Wajeed (Platinum Pied Pipers)
The Bangers
Small Change
Jamal Ali (Turntable Lab)
Saheer (Tokion)


Floor Two

Nickodemus (Wonder Wheel)
and Special Guests


Floor Three
Professional Rest Area - conversation, loungin, mayhem

The Music Gallery:: 49 Anne St. bet. Nassau and Williams St. 10pm - whenever
$10 Cover, RSVP for guaranteed admission
$5 cover to anyone working on NYE (bring a pay stub, flyer, knowledge of mixed drinks, whatever ya got)


Wajeed's Platinum Pied Pipers group (czeck the output on the Ubiquity label) has gotten international acclaim for forwarding nu-school soul music on the real. Shoutout to my sister from another planet Tiombe Lockheart who's a PPP frequent collab. Wajeed's roots stretch back to Detroit and production work for Slum Village, he knows his music and continues to push the real shit, its an honor to share the decks with him. Rounding up the posse includes NYC party stalwarts the Bangers, who get around like mofos because they're 23 1/2 hour party people no fucking doubt. Rock the haus guaranteed. Plus my man my mellow Jamal who lives and breathes this music shit, and will steer you on what you're sleepin' on at the Lab...go visit and get schooled. Saheer I dunno much about but if Jen sez he's down he's down, cos that girl is no jizzoke.

Of course we've teamed up with Nickademos of Turntables fame so you're getting double the fun doublemint gum nah sayin'? Last time I check he was trying to arrange this brass band from eastern romania to play (or something like that) but rest assured this born and bred NYC mofo always, always, always kills it. Again, another mofo I take cliff notes on, Turntables is a beautifully strong force in NYC, keeping things surreal, many warm summer nights dancing to some real shit. That's all we ask for, but someone needs to set it up and do it right, so big big shouts to Nick and Mariano. It ain't easy being green, i.e. sticking up for some good muzak and having people follow it. Of course check the output on Wonderwheel recordings and do some dancing in his room but save a few for my late night funky selections upstairs.

All in all it should be a night of retarded music and a good way to kick off your NYE weekend. We strive for a barf free event, I can't say the same for my other party promoters doing things a few days later.

Anyways pack yourself on the back (or whip yourself ala name of the rose) for getting this far. And if you didn't, well, you can stick you fing--y'know...that's it...I'm cutting myself off. The limbo taste bar is practically on the floor and I have to save a few stabs for next week...til then kiddies!




11.30.06

Been a loong minute since the last check in. What can I say, been lazy up to and past tofurkey day. But here's the latest update. Enjoy and hope to see some of yas out soon.

Hey kids, $m ˘hizzle is back in blizzack from the waste coast visiting the fam-a-lam and spinning some quality rekkids at quality parties. Good times good times like rocking two copies of good times. Btw if you want off the list, just tell me what a turducken is. And pass the barf bag.
So the big nieuws is me and Simzee are taking a break from Stolen Moments. We've had a nice run at the east side co., many ill sessions and demented dance parties, killer guest DJs and quality cocktails, but we need a break for the hollowdaze and a chance to revamp it. We're thinking more of a loft party multi room vibe, ya dig? As my esteemed colleague put it, no tears people...just more beer.

Join me and sims for one more night of jazz (defined very loosely) and really fressssh (scratch that!) cocktails. Good rekkids and good peepholes. That's how we roll.

Stolen Moments (goes on vacation!)
Thursday, TONIGHT, Nov. 30th
$mall ˘hange and DJ Sims
@ East Side Co.
49 Essex near Grand
9ish to 3ish


rock rock on.

Next week lookout for $˘ appearences at Stay Gold gallery and Rubulad. G-g-g-go-good times!

Also lookout for a Stolen Moments bonus beats at East Side Co. next week when DJ Fucci celebrates her b-day with a disco/electro throwdown with me, Pappawheelie and others...werd.

Laters...




10.23.06


devo-lution


Hey kiddies, here's a short one, hate to pelt you with more than one curse laden fucking email a week, but a few last minute tings came up (actually more like I forgot mentioned them in previous invite...duh!) so thought I'd pass the gas (er, I mean information). If you want off just type beano and I'll plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief I'm off this email list it is...

Today I'll be overdosing on all things Nublu. The famed lil' east villahge club that could is still doing it, doing it, doing it y'know. I'll be on their EVR radio show from 7-8pm and then later at the club proper from 10ish to 2ish. A real deal music scene in manhattan...who woulda thought? Live bands and DJs seven nights a week and one of the best vibes in this lil' two horse town known as nueva york. Its obvious its owned by a musician (for better or for worse...I'm kidding! ) And I'd like to say, as a DJ, one of the best marriages of bands and DJs within a night...again something in short supply in most 'live' music venues. Stop fucking soundchecking over my james brown rekkids, you musician punks! Its all guten in the hooden.

Nublu Radio with Queen Majesty and $mall ˘hange
Mondaze 6-8pm on EVR
eastvillageradio.com
IM: eastvillageradio


then laters...

Nublu Mondays
especial guesto: $mall ˘hange
plus some superfunky band aka I have no idea who's playing
10pm onwards
$5 bones malone
Ave C btw 4th and 5th, east side of the street, look for the blue light.


tomorrow of all things I return to the scene of the crime aka EVR for a guest spot on Andrew Andrew's Sound Sound program. In a semi-recent previous life these cats were responsible (again for better for worse...again I'm kidding! really...) for the iPod revolution (or devolution) at APT on Tuesday nights. Andrew Andrew have their aesthetic down pat and they're the only people I ever knew who got their DJ party listed in Redbook. These kids get the housewives outta the house I tell ya. They've been pluggin' away on EVR for a minute, and have a penchant for the eclectic, so I'm bringing along some wacked out favorites. For the kids of course, its all about the children. And the step-children. Work it to the bone, work-it-to-the-bone...

Andrew Andrew Sound Sound
guest selectah $mall ˘hange
Tuesdaze 4-6pm on EVR
eastvillageradio.com
IM: eastvilliage radio


Of course there's a rubulad later in the week and also a tues halloween proper ting, but I'll send sumptin' out thurs about those, or czeck the previous missive. Carry on with your bad selves, keep it light...


10.16.06

It Is What It Is

Yo motherfuckers!

$mall ˘heezey checking in after a little bit of madness. The boat has been stablized, so its time to get it rockin' again...fuck this flag at half mast shit. Full speedo ahead, free you mind and your ass will follow, and the kingdom of heaven is surely within. And don't call me shirley.

If you want of this buster bloodvessel of an e-list just type in ne-ne-na-na-nu-nu and I'll send ya to McDonalds so you can eat 60 big macs. You don't get that do you. Of course you don't. Don't worry, just some ska nerd shit from my yuth.

So tonight at Stolen Moments Musical Murder Inc. we have a truly 'made' gangster on decks, Mr. Gerald McBoing Boing. Me and Robbie have done 8 zillion gigs together over the years and his fingers are among the dustiest when it comes to this crate diggin' game. Don't schlafen herr beeyotches. School is in (and after a few cocktails, it most definitely will be out as well). Lately he's been collecting funky gospel shit, and has way way too much jebus records for a bialy eatin' kosher motherfucker. Go figure. Anyways should be a fun one and of course I'm joined by the esteemed Sims, one of my fave peepholes on this god-forsaken planet. Rekkids for days suckas. Ride those spinnas and stay fly while we drop the crackly prestige sides.


Stolen Moments
with Sims and $mall ˘hange
you say its your b-day set by Gerald McBoing Boing
9pm til we brrrpt stick 'em.
49 Essex near Grand
jazz by sensibility, NOT by definition.



A nice lil' other regular ting just came up on the radio front. Nublu radio on EVR happens 6-8pm, with Queen Majesty taking care of the 1st hour with quality reggae for your jeggae, and Bryan K throwing down b-side funk and breaks for yo' ass. Well, Bryan is jettisoning to Europa for a month or two and axed me to fill in, so, god forbid, $mall ˘hange has a semi-regular radio slot again. Nieuws at 11pm. Actually 7pm til' 8pm, I'll be keeping in the vein of the show and droppin all kindsa stupid, stupid, stupid grooves for the next coupla months. Sticking some funky musical bugs up in your ears ala the wrath of khan. "You see, $˘'s tunes enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later as the tunes grow follows madness and death." Of course, I hope that isn't a determent to listening in. And Queen Majesty always comes correccht so it should be a quality showcase showdown for your Price is Wrong fans. Wardrobe by botany fucking 500. Who else?

Nublu Radio
with Queen Majesty and $mall ˘hange
Mondays 6-8pm
east villahge radio
http://www.eastvillageradio.com/
IM: eastvillageradio



In case you miss me on the station of the nation WFMU (yes, I need to get up in that piece mo' often, no doubt) I did a little fill-in for Mr. Finewine last friday for his soul spectacularlistic Downtown Soulville program. Finewine is one of the top dudes in the game and that's some very big shoes to fill. And quite stinky...yo matt, get some oder eaters son! I keed, I keed. Had a lot of fun. To quote Della, it was a very good yeaaar. You can czeck the archive at:

http://wfmu.org/playlists/nd

I still need to finish the goddamn playlist. Oy vey. Lotsa other shows there as well from over the years.



Finally (tho you'll get another update from me), I'm dropping the usual assortment of extremely superstoopid jams for Rubulad's Halloweenie throwdown on Friday the 27th. I may or may not be hard to miss in my gigantic green sombrero and mexican wrestling mask. I know from experience that spinning with a fez is tricky, but this chapeau may be beyond my DJ capability, we shall see. In any case the usual assortment of freaks will come at night with vincent price narrating the making of thriller. There's only one thing more scarier...Michael Jackson narrating the story of ET. Yes I have the deluxe box set. I'm spinning on the early side for once, some if you come toward the beginning you'll hear some extremely wacked out shit. God bless mothefucking rubulad. Keep it sureal people like my man my mellow Mr. Scruff sez. Catch it while you can, you know how these no fun no dancing quality of who's life authority fucks operate. As my neighbor sez, fuck 'em all Jimmy, fuck 'em all. Indeed. Get a life. Or watch some chris elliot reruns. Rubulad presents, on Friday, October 27:
The Masque of the Red Death
Or
Things That Go Bump in the Night
A Halloween Extravaganza
Featuring live music by:
Nous Non Plus (France)
The Aerosols (SF)
MC Tracheotomy (NOLA)
Haunted Pussy (NY's own)
Plus DJ / sound demon Kris Anton


With your djs:
Small Change
Gerald McBoing Boing
Shotnez
Chris Catalyst and Mike Simonetti


In the Cabaret Room:
Theater Ouf's Pink Ladies
Microshards
Terrifying Theremin


Plus
Pierre Pressure in "Zombie Love"
Skull Pod by Paul Burn
Killer chow by Vicious Delicious
Sinful sweets by Brownie Points
Rooftop blood feast (weather permitting)
Light circus by Norm Francoeur


And more spooky surprisesÉ

10:00 doors; 10 smackers
Rubulad Home Base: 338 Flushing Ave., bet. Classon & Taaffee
L train to Bedford Avenue > B61 bus on Driggs to Flushing Ave (10
mins) > left under BQE > Rubulad's on your right just past the gas
station *OR* J / M / Z to Marcy Ave > walk along BQE > left under BQE
at Flushing.


Or G Train to Flushing and follow address numbers.
Note: The B61 bus runs from Greenpoint to Red Hook through Dumbo and
Downtown Brooklyn. The B57 bus will take you to and from Bushwick,
fast.


This is a costume party. Wear a costume.

You can help us continue to have a Rubulad in this space by being quiet coming and going, staying inside the space during the event and not pissing all over the sidewalk as soon as you get around the corner Đ which, incidentally, does attract the police and they will write you a summons

The less our neighbors have to complain about, the more fun we can have.


Thanks for your help.

werd. See y'all in on the 9th level of hell, we'll chill with some pit fiends and do shots with asmodeus. Yes this is a nerdy DnD joke. Get your motherfuckin' boris vallejo on!
paz,



09.27.06

That's right, $mall ˘hiz here to spike the punch with another weekly blast o' sheet acid. If you want off this list, just take a swim for the suppository like that dude did in spotting of the trains. I keed. Just say so and I'll drop y'all off like the kids by the pool. Btw did you know the toilet flushes in the opposite direction below the equator? I noticed that a few years ago down under. The southern cross was kinda cool as well.

Anyways not too much to report, everyting's steady as she goes over at Stolen Moments inc. Another week another quarter another dime bag another mono pressed 1500 series. You know how we do. Actually I can't afford most of those muthas but the Japanese reissues do sound dandy. Just to get it straight tho, its jazz by sensibility rather than definition, so if we throw down some classic Mary Jane Girls or Essential Logic or Ray Barretto or Channel Live don't friggin' sue us, just your chiropractor after your booty gets rattled loose. Sims and $˘ always semi-drunken/blunten style on the controls, and we frequently roll the red carpet out to only the finest connis-sewers of vinyl and digital musical artifacts.

This week is no exception as DJ Drez is coming to wreck shop. Longtime west coast DJ/graf head, he's been living in NYC for more than a minute but this is his debut gig. Get out of the house more often homeboy! I'm kidding, we're glad to have this soulstruttin' blackbelt cratedigger in the hizzle to drop classic poplockin' electro, salsa/boogaloo, private press disco, and whatever else suits 'em.

Drinks and treats authored (mostly) by sascha of milk and honey fame, pro-slinger Peter behind the bar. Everything's made fresssh so sometimes it take a minute. Unbunch the panties (yes, I'm talking to the dudes here) and fucking relax already! See y'all in hell.

Stolen Moments
residents Sims and $mall ˘hange
with guesto especial DJ Drez
49 Essex near Grand. Wooden Door, next to the 'pickle guys'.
THURSDAZE, 9ish to 3ish.
No cover


hear live sets archived on giant steps jukebox! giantstep.net

paz out peepholes...


09.22.06

why/who/where/how the fuck...are ya?!

Party Perpatrators...

So it has been a proverbial minute since last chatting/annoying. If you want off this missive just type leggo my eggo and I'll burn ya down like they did the Belgian Waffle on the playa this year.

Because of my current laissez-fair laziness I negleted to tell ya about Nappy G guesting with us at Stolen Moments yesterday. Rest assured it was booty shakin' affair, with homeslice reschooling the fools on the true school classics. Nuff respeck e'erytime, don't sleep on Nappy on decks (and the Timbales, obviously). Stolen Moments is rollin' rollin' rollin' at the East Side Company on Thursdays, 9pm-onwards. The sessions are taped most of the time and subsequently archived on giant step's jukebox. Giantstep.net. We got three very loooong shows up there right now so peeping tom it. Shoutout to my partner Sims who always is down for some Spike Jones. Cocktails by Peter, bar design by Sascha of milk n' honey fame. Its the real fucking deal so drink up. Or have a fresh squeezed OJ/Grapefruit. Or do both.

Stolen Moments

Thursdays (whoops, shoulda sent this yesterday!) at East Side Co.

49 Essex near Grand. Wooden door. Next to 'the pickle guys'.

no cover

jazz by sensibility rather than definition. Loosen up already!

Saturday me and the missus are back to back for a grand lil' shindig in bushwick, I mean east williamsburg for all you trustafarian hipsterati. But no complaints or judgements, just show up and fucking dance,you little punks. The space is rather sick and fast becoming the 'it' place people, so czeck it before the cops in their infinite wisdom deicide that its much too much fun for this wack ass quality of life town. Brought to you from the folks behind Complacent Nation but under a new banner. Its XXXL people, and goes late. You know how we fucking do. Or you probably don't cos you keep hitting snooze snooze snooze, wondering where all the freaky deaky parties have gone. They're right underneath you. That's right, it's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right. With your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight. But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the fucking Time Warp again already!

This Saturday, September Twenty Third

TheDanger (formerly Complacent Nation) presents:

Future : Perfect

What is the future you dream of?

http://www.thedanger.com/future

This Saturday we offer you a landscape of art, video and music mixed with dozens of visions of the future we deserve. Expect one part future fantasy mixed with two parts performance perfected.

Your Future Sounds Like: Mission: on Mars - This global-electronic band mixes live breakbeat rhythms, Indian sitar melodies, space-jazz guitar, middle eastern drones, into a funk chilled crater of moon walking beats. Sci-fi fans revel and dream what could be possible one day.

Chin Chin - Combining an eclectic electric group of performers with an electric eclectic range of styles, this is a groove you haven't heard. Be prepared for the hoe down of a new generation.

DJ Dance and Future Sound Featuring: World funk & soulful house from Turntables on the Hudson's Nickodemus & Mariano with live drums by Jimmy Lopez; future techno from Halcyon's dj Dirtt and Anthony Parasole; eclectic dance mash from $mall ˘hange and Shakey; the laid back techno lounge by ImageNode; and classic hip-hop & electro from dj Grimace.

Your Future Looks Like: 20,000sqft. of raw Brooklyn loft, courtyard and rooftop broken into touchable manifestations of our future dream. Experience the ImageNode rooftop plush dome - a womb of lofi techno and future visuals; climbable sculpture of wood and shadow by Thomas Beale; new work of future indelicacy by Ryan O'Conner; flights of fancy by Bunny; live art battles by four of NYC's finest; grammar games and robot dance by Action/Direction; retro-future video projections by Sebastian Patane Masuelli; and installed art presented by 3rd Ward Brooklyn.

Your Future Is: Cheap drinks and surprise gifts, costumes and spontaneous acts of affection. Experience a dozen visions of the future perfected - spread across six areas of a rebuilt and reconfigured raw space. For those that have been to 3rd Ward before, be ready for a new experience, we've torn down walls to make rooms larger and add new areas of exploration.

Come early, at 9pm the Miss Rockaway Armada will be hosting a multi-media presentation of their experience building an art-raft of refuse and floating/performing down the Mississippi river. This is a vision of the future perfected, imagine a weeks long art party of pirate living with 30+ artists and dreamers directly engaging the middle of this nation. See more about it here: http://www.missrockaway.org

Stay late, at 2am (or later) the Champagne Ritual will swarm the space with libations, flowers and exposed skin. Expect a spectacle of stilt walkers, drummers and hoopers that makes the future feel possible, presented by Anya Sapozhnikova.

Our present is perverse but our future is perfect.

@ 3rd Ward Brooklyn 195 Morgan Ave. : East Williamsburg The space has been redesigned for this event. Walls have been torn down to create larger rooms and more exploration. Come discover the changes.

$10 : 9pm through sunrise

Free kisses for costumes.

The paddle for the rest of you.

Your future is perfect.

http://www.thedanger.com/future

Note : This event has nothing to do with the The Future Perfect store on North 6th St. although they do sell pretty things. This event has everything to do with verb-tense (really).

good to be back in the loop and hope to see some of yas.

RIP Adam Goldstone. The real fucking deal. We miss ya man!

Paz.


08.18.06

Ooook kiddies. $mall ˘hizzle with s'more sizzle for your sizzle-lean. If you want off this bacon fat list just tell me who Andre Williams is. That's right, I didn't think so! Google/wikipedia that shit and then I'll take you off.

please NOTE: the following parties are not in chronological order cos, well, I have this big heap party I'm throwing next week, so that kinda gets precedence. But read on cos there's mad schlitz this weekend, Rubulad in Bushwick and opening for Archie Bell and the Dansettes at Joe's Pub. But third things first (or as they say on the playa, "remember, safety THIRD")...

$mall ˘hange and Lupe Loop presente:

vs vS VS Vs vs

Versus.

7" VS 12"

The small rekkids with the big hole peeps vs the white label promo festishists.

Friday August 25th. (This is NOT tonight, but NEXT FRIDAY)

10ish til somewhat extremely late (who knows?)

Five fucking measly dollars for 18 friggin' DJs.

2 Floors.

Bowling.

Pinball.

Drinking.

Dancing.

You.

@ Galaxie Nightclub

galaxienyc.com

55-07 Metropolitan Ave. Ridgewood, Brooklyn

directions below...

That's right kids, finally a party where it will be decided, who's shit is better. Are you a mod who thinks all good music ended in 1974? Or are you a disco dolly who thinks that when music started? Now lets not get violent, put away your butterfly knives and AK-47s, there IS a sane way to deal with this. Let's settle it on the decks people.

We have 18 fucking DJs, 9 a side, representing their formats. Northern soul, heavy funk, garage rawk. Deep disco, electro and early haus. 2 floors so you can wander at your own free will. Bowling. That right bitches, Galaxie has a two lane bowling alley in their basement, with some vintage pinball/video games to boot. A very stylish spot and yes, we will be going late.

For the Sevens:

Greg Tormo

DJ Hardtop

Alec D. (APT)

Lex (Discovery)

Jeff Dynamite, Quincy, Leon (Truth and Soul)

Soul Cracker and Inbetween

$mall ˘hange

For the Twelves:

Ron Morelli (Reagan Disco Headache)

Pappawheelie (Electrodiscopunks)

Lupe Loop and Alfredo

Shakewell and Duckcomb (Sharegroove)

Catalyst and Simonetti (Rubulad, Troubleman Unlimited)

plus a surprise. Maybe.

All these folks have the shiznit so expect blood. Mods vs Rockers? Gangs of NY? That's chickenshit in comparison to what will go down here folks. So bring your leisure suit or 3 button suit, your Nik Nik shirt or you Fred Perry, whatever suits ya, but be prepared to get down and defend your time period and format of choice. We'll see ya on the dancefloor.

How to get thurr:

We are about a 10 minute drive from williamsburg. It is worth the trip. New underground venue, 2 floors, 2 separate sound systems, bowling lanes, lounges, space-age vibe, pinball, and a very care-free attitude. Unfourtunately, we aren't very close to the train. Car service from Williamsburg or Greenpoint is about $8

TRAINS - Take the JMZ to Myrtle Ave, from there take the M to Forest Ave. (about a 10-12 block walk from there)or take the L to dekalb. (about a 12 block walk)

The Q54 bus goes down Grand Ave. to Metropolitan Ave. Get off at the first stop after you pass mcdonalds.

(we are across from a rite-aid drug store)

But that's not all. Behind door number two, in the recently gentrified Bushwick (or east williamsburg for all you white hipster motherfuckers (this includes me...duh!)), comes the party that can't be stopped, Rubulad. They stick it to the MAN like that end scene in American Me. Making some very fressssh tasting lemonade outta lemons, Rubulad is combining forces with the NKOTB, 3rd Ward, for a massive multiple thousands of sq. foot sheer insanity this Saturday. The usual hodge podge of dementia, marching and live bands, caberet from hell, and DJ heaven. Join me late night for the afterlife at the restaurant at the end of the universe. Or at least til the sun comes up.

Rubulad Presents, on August 19, 2006

- at 3rd Ward: 195 Morgan Avenue ö

Delirium Summer: A Fever Dream

With live shows by:

Extra Action Marching Band (San Francisco)

Circus Contraption (Seattle)

Uncle Jimmyâs Dirty Basement

Polka Madre Y La Comezon (Mexico City)

feauring DJ / sound god Kris Anton

with dance interludes by Angie from The Love Show

With DJs

Small Change

Ursula 1000

The Human Jukebox

Plus

Ice Cream-a-licious Lounge with whipped cream and secret surprise performers by The Danger (formerly Complacent)

G. Scopitronicâs Non-Stop Film Fest

Projections by Mighty Robot Audio / Visual Squad

Light Circus by Norm Francouer

Sweets by Brownie Points

Aerial Feats by Aste

In the Yard:

Bradford Reed and his Pencilina

Sitar and tabla by Mustafa Bhagat and David Freeman

Delicious Barbecue

Roving circus madness

And oh, so much more

10 pm doors; 10:30 show; 10 beans

Dress summer surfer circus

The 3rd Ward space is located at 195 Morgan Avenue - just a short walk from the Grand Street or Morgan Avenue stops on the L train.

From the Morgan Avenue L stop simply follow the address numbers to 195.

From the Grand Street L stop walk down Grand Street to Morgan Avenue, turn right on Morgan and follow the address numbers.

3rd Ward space has lots of space and air and plumbing. We recommend you come early and not miss the performers; weâre proud to present them to you. We do not recommend you bring your own alcohol as weâre guests in someone elseâs space and theyâll probably remove it from you. They have decent prices anyway. We are extremely thankful to the 3rd Ward for adopting this event.

Last and certainly not least in this stellar week of musical madness comes Mr. Tighten Up himself, yes folks There's Gonna Be a Showdown, the masterful OG soul motherfucker Archie Bell comes to NYC and Joe's Pub. Opening sounds the supersoulful funky sister act The Dansettes. And lil' ole me on the decks. While I don't bust them out all the time, here's a nice opportunity to hear some rusty dusty 45 platters, I'll be playing inbtwn the groups and thoroughly enjoying the festivities. I've seen Mr. Bell a few times down at the Ponderosa Stomp festival in Nahlins and Memphis and the man has has shit down pat like Lightning Rod in Hustler's Convention. So get your go go groove on and I'll see you on the dancefloor...

Monday, August 21th @ 9pm

Archie Bell, The Dansettes, $mall ˘hange

@ Joe's Pub

425 Lafayette Street (near 8th/Astor)

not sure on the coverage, czeck their site.

thanks kids, see y'all somewheres I'm sure...

08.08.06

In honor of all the retarded party invites I've been getting...

I've finally started to see the light. It all about model and bottles! What the fuck have I been thinking all these years, just digging for records? What a waste of time. Don't worry, I'm not selling out, I'm buying in. All in bitch, I'm holding ace/king suited. Of course, with this party agenda comes some slight changes/dress codes/etc, so I thought I'd let you know the following about my future parties:

Attention bottle ballers...if you buy 8 bottles of belvigoose, we'll toss in another 8! Plus a gold plated puke bucket and half off your ambulance ride to pump your liver...

When you're 1st entering the club, please make a request in the 1st five minutes of walking in. Obviously if the DJ is not playing the newest, hottest jam that you can lip sync too, well, they suck. In fact, that's a good thing to ask the DJ. 'Did you bring anything good?' Trust me, DJs love hearing that. They know you have discerning tastes and they know that the world revolves around you. Which it does, obviously!

Ladies free before 4:20am. Just bring a can of GREENS to feed the starving children of some country we're exploiting for cheap labor. And please wear something slutty and be somewhat anoretic. Obviously if you're not here to please the men what else are ya good for? We have 5 different leveled VIP rooms. Based on our 'meat' judges at the door we will determine what quality pork chop you are and assign you accordingly.

Men, please spend a stoopid amount of cash, even if you don't have it. Obviously that's the ONLY way to impress the chicks. Max out your mom's credit card if you have to, roll up in a stretch hummer, drop dollars like there's no tomorrow. Save up for property?! What are you, nuts?! Blow it all on an eight ball or a 2000% marked up bottle of watered down booze! Plus free ocean spray cranberry juice and sunny delight! Stay gucci down to the socks. Please wear prada shoes. If they are imitation pradas, you WILL be sent home. Jeans are ok if you have a note from you mom saying she's ironing your bobby brown pleated pants.

Okay, I keed, I keed. But if you are interested those parties mos definitely happen around NYC. Go have 'fun'.

But for the rest of y'all, here's yet another friggin' missive. When will it stop? Unless you tell me in uncertain curse laden terms that you want off this spamorific list, I'll keep feedin' ya, and feedin' ya, and feedin', like that wu-tang skit off the 1st rekkid.

Tonight, tues, I invade stinky south beach again. Aka the meat packing district. I'll be downstairs at ye olde APT. Not only am I bringing my usual unusual bag of musical trix is for kids tricks, but I'm joined by mellow deejay motherfucker Reaganomics of Pure Fire fame (or lack thereof). Aaron is crazy in all the good ways there is to be, has skills to pay the bills, bills, bills, pay your telephone bill, pay your...you get it. Plus he's an arteeest, you should check out his electro-luminecent bugs. Tasty. Should be a tight lil' session, plus APT's soundsystem is somewhat death star-ish. Set phasers to extreme booty annihilation.

Tuesday

$mall ˘hange and Reaganomics

@ APT, 419 w. 13th btw 9th and Washington

10pm onwards and upwards and inwards, no coverage.

we're in the basement (of the alamo).

Thursday I'm doing double dookie, I mean duty at both Joe's Pub(lic theatre) and the East Side Co.

My man my mellow DJ Handler axed me to play a few rekkids before he hits the stage with this crazy hebrew MC Y-Love. Blood of Abraham has nothing on this dude. Actually I don't know too much about him but I will be bringing some dope shit to warm ze decks. Expect: only the finest in rapp music. Fuck hip hop. I'm only playing 1/2 an hour around 11 or 11:30ish.

Y-Love, Jake Break, DJ Handler and $˘

Thursday August 10, at 11:30 PM

Joe's Pub

Lafayette near Astor/8th.

not sure on the door damage.

Laterish I'm heading over the the East Side Co. where my partner in forensic music crime lab partner DJ Sims is holding it down with an ole friend DJ Leche. Geo has been on the NYC scene for more than a minute and has crates. Sims is one of my fave peepholes in the world, and Stolen Moments is our thing. Don't test! These sessions are taped and up and running on the giant step jukebox, czeck giantstep.net. Stolen Moments is jazz music by sensibility rather than definition, we let our guests sort out what that means to them. Its a very open format and lots of quality shit being dropped come by for a fressssh cocktail courtesy of a bar menu designed by Sascha of Milk and Honey fame.

Stolen Moments

DJs Sims, $mall ˘hanges, especial guesto Leche

Thursdays at the East Side Co.

49 Essex near grand, wooden door (next to 'the pickle guys')

9pm onwards/upwards/inwards/outwards

werd up peepholes! Stay cool in these inconvenient truth times!


07.31.06

Stinky South Beach in full e-f-f-u-c-k-i-n-g fect.

That's right kiddies, $˘ with another no rebate update. If you want off ze list tough titties. No one ever escapes...no one! Ok, ok, unbunch those panties, I'll give ya the red card and headbutt your email outta here.

Anyways I'll make this brief like the underwear--ok you've heard that one before. I definitely need some new lines. I'm doing a last minute thing at APT downstairs tomorrow. They only let me out every once in a while, like the Kracken in Clash of the Titans (pre-CGI shit, bitches), to unleash a tidal wave of musical fury for all you virgin sacrifices. I will be well armed with new and old dancehall, heavy funk for the trunk, deep disco, afro-haus, bootilicious electro and bass, semi-random and known rapp, and some spirit jazz to round off the evening. As the great Pinchers once said I'll cut ya like the sword of zorro.

Should be a mildly entertaining evening in the lovely former meat packing district, then it was MPD, and now Stinky South Beach. Ahh the sights, the sounds, the SMELLS of NYC. After your overpriced asian-esque meal that included endangered chilean sea bass (hey, who cares, it tastes great!), come by and hear a hustler of culture do damage on the death star Funktion One soundsystem at ye olde APT (a veteran of the neighborhood at this point).

Tuesday, Aug. 1st

$mall ˘hange

'Live' from Stinky South Beach

@ APT 419 w. 13th btw 9th and Washington

10pm onwards and upwards (and possibly inwards)

Also do czeck Stolen Moments, the weekly 'jazz' (with heavy quotes) thang that me and the lovely DJ Sims host/spin. I'm off this week to answer the higher call of corporate office parties, but stop by cos Sims is bringing some super bad superslick DeeJays Southpaw and Rez. Breaks, soul, and real deal hip hop. Y'know, just like the Black Eye'd Sleeze are reppin' in those so bad their bad snickers ads. I keed. As I keep saying, fuck hip hop, the shit is dead. Lets bring back Rapp! Anyways these cats know the time so reset your alarm clock and don't hit the sleep button.

Thursdaze

Stolen Moments

this week: Sims, Southpaw and Rez

@ East Side Co.

49 Essex near Grand.

9pm on.

ok paz peepholes. Also a quick message to our world leaders: chill the fuck out and get a clue. I'm audi 5.


07.27.06

"Paging Mister ˘hange.... Mister ˘hange.... You have a tel-le-phone call at the front desk."

There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

I don't understand.

But all will become clear inna moment. In the meantime if you want off the list just type in 'I know you are but what am I...infinity!" and I'll toss yo trashy email in the cyber-garbage.

So $m. ˘hiz hear with another last minute update no rebate for yas. Its like a unravelling a giant sweater that someone keeps knitting, and knitting, and knitting, and knitting, and knitting....

Ok jeez thelma and louise, if you haven't guess by now I'm DJing before they screen Pee Wee's rather large adventure ride over at the Brooklyn Bridge park. In case you're wondering where ze fucken that is (I sure did, I'm so glad God invented google), its in dumbo underneath (you guessed it) the 59th st. bridge. I keed. You know this. I hope. Otherwise you need help.

Anyways its free, that tasty lil' spot with the different kinds of rice (surprisingly called 'Rice') is hawking food, and they get a gangload of folks to these thinks. Kinda like the monday Bryant Park thing but brooklyn style. I'm DJing before the film starts, from 6pm-8:30ish or so. Pee Wee is one of those flicks that has really stood the test of time, the shit still cracks me up to this day and Paul Reubens is on some genius shit with the writing/acting.

Details herein:

Movies with a view series at the Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservatory

Thurs July 27th "Pee Wee's Big Adventure"

6pm: $mall ˘hange

8:30pm: ze flick.

Main street and the water in Dumbo (map it at 1 main street, crooklyn)

Mas info here

Of course, I'll be running from BK to ze LES for me and Simzee's weekly forray into jazz and beyond, Stolen Moments. Emphasis on the beyond. Its really one of those rare nights in clubland where you can sssttrrreeecccht out and play many, many thing that seem to collect dust on the shelf. Unfortunately there's a lot of beautiful music that for some reason or another isn't qualified to rock a party. And to put it quite simply, we at Stolen Moments say fuck that shit. Lets play some chinese traditional wackiness, lets play some hardcore, some 50's RnB, deep soul ballads, original DeeJay sevens, whatever, along with the more palatable schlitz. God forbid with all these damn remix records, lets actually break out the OG blue note and impulse sides. Lets fucking do this shit.

This week I have some hvw8 help cos Sims is MIA. Daniel Lion-I will be throwing down roots with a capital Rrrr from 9ish till I get back from Dumbolina, and later the great Pat Longo of Primitive Sound System fame will be gracing us with a box of rare jazz sevens. Both these cats have the super stoopid shit. I was just listening to some tasty dubs on Daniel's extremely tasty soundsystem a couple nights ago. Dude has eek-a-mouse before he was eek-a-mouse. Pat was manning the counter at Finyl Vinyl for years, extremely knowledgable and quality peepholes. Deep is not the werd for it. He's on some miles below the earth's surface ren and stimpy shit.

Stolen Moments

residents: DJ Sims and $mall ˘hange

especial guestos: Daniel Lion-I and Pat Longo

49 Essex near Grand street in ze LES

(wooden unmarked door, next to 'the pickle guys')

9pm til' 3ish, no coverage, fresssh cocktails.

And Saturday, saturday, saturday its a saturday its another Rubulad. Oy vey you say? Obviously you don't know the power of this fully operational fully retarded funky freakfest battlestation in the brooklyn navy yard. Four rooms of mayhem, roof deckage, DJs, bands, demento caberet, alladat. Set phasers to annihilate. Destroy all dancefloors. Free you mind and yo' ass is set to follow. The power of heaven/hell is within.

I'm on at my usual steeze, 2-3ish to the late late late show. Been involved with these cats for many years and can safely say its my favorite party to play in nueva york, hands down.

Rubulad Presents, on Saturday, July 29th: Lurid Luau! Featuring live music by: The Pants Avengers Fisherman Chin Chin Zero Boy With dance interludes by The Hula Belles With your DJs: Ursula 1000 Small Change Repoman Sock Monkey DJ 360 The Honeydripper (Daptone) In the Cabaret Room: Live Keyboard Karaoke with Joe McGinty In the Starlight Lounge: G. Scopitronicâs Non-Stop Film Fest Malcolm Stuart (Groove Hoops) Garden by Anna of The Green Scene Rooftop Bar-B-Q Plus: Ho Daddy Hot Shot Photo Booth by Carl Saytor Light Circus of Norm Francoeur Sweets by Brownie Points Dress Hawaiian swimwear go-go tourist. 10 clams - 10:00 pm doors ö 11:00 show Rubulad Home Base: 338 Flushing Ave., bet. Classon & Taaffee L train to Bedford Avenue > B61 bus on Driggs to Flushing Ave (10 mins) > left under BQE > Rubulad's on your right just past the gas station *OR* J / M / Z to Marcy Ave > walk along BQE > left under BQE at Flushing. Or G Train to Flushing and follow address numbers. Note: The B61 bus runs from Greenpoint to Red Hook through Dumbo and Downtown Brooklyn. The B57 bus will take you to and from Bushwick, fast.

thanks fer reading and hope to czeck yas somewheres.


07.06.06

to quote Marcel Marcel...

"[makes gesture of middle finger while trapped in a box]"

Hey kids, its another adventure at 666 flags magic mountain o' shite. If you want off this rollercoaster ride to spamville, please exit to your left as I ixnay your high maintenenceness...there is no such thing as too much email in web 2.0, bitches.

Its another manic monday for $˘, except its thursday and I still haven't gotten my email out for my parties in the next few. They are also demolishing a paint factory next to my apartment and my computer is covered in blue dye whilst I type this. By the way, is paint bad for your lungs? Just wondering, I have this cough...anyways excuse the virtual flem that follows and be sure to scroll scroll scroll your boat gently down to the bottom of the screen for info on both the Thursday (TONIGHT) and Friday (TOMORROW) par-taze. Werd 'em.

Tonight its another installment of the ye olde Stolen Moments party. Jazz by sensibility more than definition. Which means we play some real deal shit whilst you sippith on the finest cocktails in this two horse town. Drink menu from Sascha of Milk and Honey fame. So get yourself a honeysuckle or three. Just pace yourself. Or not. We'll toss yer passed out ass in a cab to carnasie. Come back soon!

Oh, and btw, we have supa guest selectahs Phast Phreddie and Jim Shorts (aka Phast Nancy) on the decks, dropping everything from traditional chinese muzak to bump and grind RnB to punk rock rarities. Its call jazz, motherfucker. Its a wide umbrella. So get it straight cos there's no rebates.

Lookout for Stolen Moments radio starting up on Giant Step in the very near future. Werd 'em up. Giantstep.net, look for the jukebox section.

Stolen Moments

residents $mall ˘hange and DJ Sims

guests: Phast Phreddie and Jim Shorts (aka Phast Nancy)

9pm-3ish @ the East Side Co.

49 Essex near Grand St. (look for the wooden door)

Also Friday I'm involved in fairly big shindig on the westside, courtesy of the complacement crew (and others). These people definitely know the time, and alongside folks like Rubulad, Blackkat, etc, are responsible for keeping NYC surreal it should be. Think beyond bottle service hell people...there is another world beyond clubland, where folks get down into the wee hours and you won't max out yer credit card on the drink prices. Jeez (thelma and) louise, have some fucking fun already!

Description and disinformation follow follow (ala fela):

In this era of inconvenient truths we find ourselves torn in a battle of the Land vs. the Sea. This Friday you are invited to participate in an art and performance benefit event that explores the state of our nation in this era on the brink.

EMERGENCY

Friday - 7/7 Đ 9pm until late

547 W. 21st St. at 11th Ave

http://www.emergencyarts.com/july7/

This journey is built of live performance fused with epic-scale sculpture, DJ's alongside candlelit artifacts and the eternal comforts of shelter, sustenance, music, drink and dance.

The gallery space of Holasek Weir Projects has been transformed into an immersive art landscape featuring a central shelter and the village of Land vs. the village of Sea. Upon entering you will be offered the scent of the earth, the taste of the sea and immaculate/delicate makeup art by Chiho Omae.

In the Village of Land: Debonair creates a cozy lounge of mint tea, earthen edibles, and future-telling. In the Village of Sea: The Miss Rockaway Armada offers watermelon shots, guitar songs and sailor blues along with oceanic video projections.

At the center of the gallery Thomas Beale presents a massive sculpture sheltering tribal performance by Akim Funk Buddha featuring a kinetic opera of aerial acts, body balancers and Brazilian drums by Seceda of the Urban Roots Project, Blumuse Dance, body-poet Kazuma Motomura, Roela LaMazing, and Akiko the funky geisha. The late night is consumed with world-music beats and eclectic dance featuring dj's $mall (c)hange, Darya Roquette, Gopal and Johny B. Plus earthen video projections by TheDanger.

This event is a benefit for Emergency, a collective of artists responding to environmental and political crises in society. Based in the heart of the Chelsea art market, Emergency's mission is to reintroduce a social conscience and the concept of community in an artworld flush with wealth and egotism. Monies raised by this event will pay for the construction our 40,000sqft. studio work space.

This is one night of hope and possibiity in this time of Emergency.

EMERGENCY

$10 Đ Cheap Drinks

Friday - 7/7 Đ 9pm until late

547 W. 21st St. at 11th Ave

http://www.emergencyarts.com/july7/

Presented by Thomas Beale, Complacent Nation, Emergency Arts, TheDanger.com, and the Miss Rockaway Armada.

later skaters.


06.20.06 Way in my Brain

I dont wanna I dont wanna go insane...except its too late for that. As if you've haven't gotten the frickin' memo by now.

$mall ˘hiz with another update for you shitbags. I keed! Love all you motherfuckers. Of course, if you're feeling a little hateration for this list and want off, just tell me your favorite enya song...then we'll both be getting emails we don't want!

So gotta couple tings in the next couple of days/hours. You know me, always giving you PLENTY of notice. In case your wondering, yes, the rest of my life works like this. Tomorrow I'll stop procrastinating. I promise. But in the meantime here's the shimmy:

TONIGHT, Wednes, in a matter of hours, I'll be playing at Subtonic for this thing Bryan aka Spinoza has put together. Spinoza is has been in the trenches of NYC's nightlife for more than a minute and currently runs the eggzellent 'Bunker' shindig that brings BIG name techno mofos to play at the cozy basement of Tonic. Bangin' party. The thing tonight is a special one off 'dub' thing Spinoza's put together with NYC's DJ Olive and Deadbeat from Montreal. I'm in with some heavyweight company so expect some HEAVY as fuck sounds. Olive is known for his years in the illbient/leftfield downtown/BK electronic scene, he's jetsetting around ze world and rarely does NYC gigs these days. He has a couple rekkids out on the Agriculture label, which he helps run. Deadbeat has a slew of releases out on various labels (Scape, Cynosure to name a few), has rocked major festivals from Sonar to Mutek, and is one of those dudes people check these days, quirked out minimal tech tings to crunchy digital dub and beyond, plus he's known to drop dancehall and reggaeton amongst all of that. People who are very serious about this music game and it should be a nice night for the heads. Come EARLY cos I go on at 8pm! That's right. 8. pm. You got like 6 hours. Get something to eat, spray some aquanet super-extra-cement-hold on your fauxhawk mullet and get your fucking ass down there already!

Deets:

Wednesday June 21

Beyond presents

DEADBEAT (~scape | Montreal) 2 hour live pa (11-1)

DJ OLIVE (the Agriculture | NYC) 2 hour live pa (9-11)

$MALL ˘HANGE (WFMU, Rubulad | NYC) dj set (8-9)

@ Subtonic, 107 Norfolk St.

8pm on. $5.

And on thurs thurs thurs Stolen Moments continues and we got a nice line up of folks for the next month or so. This week we welkommen the legendary Steinski, of Double Dee/Mass Media fame. The man behind some of the most famous and influencial cut up records of all time, the Lessons series, homeboy was spinning parties at the Brooklyn Food Co-Op before you suckas were an afterthought on your parents prom night. While Stein is known for his remixes and spoken word LP collection, one thing he's also into is 40s and 50s RnB, especially from New Orleans. Stolen Moments is a party to showcase things you can't play out very often...its a Jazz night, but by sensibility more than definition. Residents Sims and mice-elf round out the selections. Cocktails menu designed by Sascha of Milk n' Honey fame. Don't schlafen on this shit. We're playing the real deal selections. Starts at 9pm for all you underpaid nine to five or six or niners working overtime.

THURSDAZE

Stolen Moments

Residents Sims and $mall ˘hange (and frequently Leche as well)

Guest mofo: Steinski playing a 50s nahlins set!

@ East Side Co., 49 Essex near Grand Street

9pm-3ish, no coverage.

enjoy the weather. I'm down in the basement like Sugarpie DiSanto cold chillin'. The A/C is collecting dust.


06.15.06

Hey party peeps. $mall ˘hange with another automated messsage for all y'all to self destruct to. If you no longer wanted to be debriefed with these classified missives (i.e. 'get me off this list!') no worries. Just send me you're address and I'll mail you some dirty briefs as a going away present.

So yo--Stolen Moments is still cookin', and our upcoming guests are so hot dem pot a bwile! Tonight its just me and Simzee rockin' the decks (literally...they're set on rubber bands), but we have a whole slew of guests coming up in the next coupla months. Not that we're chopped liver or anything. Please people. You should know the drill by now.

The basics. Stolen Moments is a party I've done off/on over the years. The music is jazz, but more by sensibility rather than strict definition. We play what we fucking want. Some deep shit, some fun shit, some old, some new, a little out, a little in, and all the areas inbetween.

For this excursion into nowhere I've teamed up with DJ Sims. Her 'Popular Corner' party in the recent past was one of my favorites, she had a real community of guest DJs and folks, put a lot of work into flyers (there was even a yearbook), and we're looking to merge some of those concepts within the night. We have a aresnal of NYC's finest diggers lined up to drop some crackly wax.

Alll whilst you sip on your expertly made cocktails. Remember, is Sascha of Milk and Honey is one of the owners, alongside Carlos from Sapphire. People who know the deal and been doing it in NYC long before there was Starbucks.

Thursdays

Stolen Moments

residents DJ Sims and $mall ˘hange

@ East Side Co., 49 Essex St.

$Free.99. 9pm (starts earlier!) til' 3ish.

Thursday June 22nd (the following week) we welkommen the legendary Steinki, who's rekkids with Double Dee (Lessions 1, 2, 3) from the early-mid 80s were a huge influence on folks like Cut Chemist, Shadow, Coldcut, etc. Stein was diggin' before most of y'all were an aftherthought on your parents prom night. For our (very loosely termed) 'jazz' night, he'll be diggin' up seldom played 50s nahlins sides, early Eddie Bo and Art Neville and the like, with whatever else he feels like throwing down. You ever hear his remix of Jazzy Sensation? Killer. That's my only request.

Some other folks on the horizon: Leche, Jazzy Nice, Pat Longo (Primitive Sound System), Phast Phreddie, Alec D (APT), Gerald McBoing Boing, Shakewell, Jim Georgiou.

see ya there (or somewheres)

06.08.06

Hey hoochie mamas...its cousin $˘ with a lil' discounted smoke damaged furniture for the dining room of your mind. Huh? I didn't get that either.

btw if you want off this list, just make it stop raining. I'm a lil' tired of it, but the family of canadian honkers hanging out in the back lawn of my apartment complex aren't complainin'.

A couple of shindigs of note in the next couple. The ongoing jazz-esque experiment known at Stolen Moments continues over at the East Side Company on Thursdaze...Moscow Mules and rare Ray Baretto. What we call living it up, bitches! And a friday one off thang courtesy of the fine folks at FreeNYC, a free events listings service for all you broke ass mofos trying to live in this real estate nitro balloon of a town we live in. Remember to inhale deeply. Is it me or does my voice sound wiErD?

I'll keep it brief like the underwear I'm not wearing. Thursday. Stolen Moments. Jazz, not by definition, but by sensibility. Which is another way of saying we're playing whatever the fuck we want, but leaning towards a classy lounge sensibility. And you'll probably hear some Lee Morgan at some point, but no promises. Me ($˘ ) and the esteemed DJ Sims, who's chillin' in Jamaica this week. So just me but I have a few records and hope to entertain. And maybe Leche if he cares to crash the party. The East Side Company's bar menu was designed by one of the best in the busines...Sascha of Milk and Honey fame. Shit is reeediculous. Remember to pace yourself. If you plan on passing out just leave a note in your shirt pocket with an address and some cab fair, we'll be sure 'take care' of ya. When Sims gets back we'll be posting a full schedule of guest spinnas, we're lining 'em up as we speaketh.

Stolen Moments!

$mall ˘hange and DJ Sims

THURSDAZE 10pm onward and upward

@ the East Side Company

49 Essex St. near Grand

Wooden Door. No Coverage.

Friday I'm doing this FreeNYC thing called BugJuice. Sounds delish, right? Er. Hmm. Lemme think about that. Well anyways the FreeNYC folks are definitely some good peoples and trying to keep NYC surreal and alladat. It ain't easy these days with a Starbucks on every corner, despite the noble efforts of folks like Rev. Billy, etc. Even 6th St. in Manhattan doesn't have half the Indian Restaurants it once had. Well, there's a few of us left, and as long as the booties are shakin' the rekkids keep spinnin'. Its all happening on Luke and Leroy. I'll give ya the basics before and I've cut n' pasted quite a bit of text from freeNYC.net for your perusal. Scroll on and I'll see you in the promised land.

FRIDAY, June 9th

freeNYC presents: BugJuice 1.0

live: Mad EP, Subatomic Sound System

DJs: $mall ˘hange, Synapse

Visuals: Teddy Sczudlo

10pm onwards

@ Luke and Lerory, 21 7th Ave. South (@ Leroy)

$5 after 11pm

mas info:

June 9th: BugJuice 1.0 - New York's Finest

The first BugJuice event of the summer kicks off with a collection of the finest talent our little island has to offer. From hip-hop to funk to grime to booty to future reggae, tonight's line-up represents everthing that's bubbling in the city. The line-up is stellar with 2 DJs, 2 live acts, and live photographic projections all night

2-Late.com Launch Party 2-Late is all about inspiring individuality. It is an idea that turned into a project in the Fall of 2005. The goal is to feature independent designers, shop owners and stylish individuals throughout New York City. Motivated by the eclectic mix of people, styles and the expression of oneself through fashion; 2-late highlights local talent and creativity while inspiring individuality in you.

Mad E.P. - Live Iowa native Matthew Peters, a.k.a. Mad EP, originally was a cellist and later a producer of the Chicago Symphony radio broadcasts. He has been creating his unique soundscapes with live instrumentations, found sounds, and field recordings for the past 7 years in various studio and performance environments. Mad E.P.'s diverse style ranges from trip-hop to hip-hop to grime to booty bass and beyond. He is a founding member of the improvisational Manhattan Gimp Project, one half of the hip-hop duo Mad/EQ, resident sound designer for the laptop storytelling trio the Psychasthenia Society as well as a number of other collaborative projects with artists such as the Shadow Huntaz, Drop the Lime, Jun Jensen, and David Young. His releases are available on Hymen Records and Ad Noiseam.

Teddy Sczudlo - Projecting Live Photos all Night Teddy Sczudlo has been breaking ground in hip hop photography for years. His portfolio is a veritable who's who of the game, shot with an introspective eye for confidence and artistry. Of course, Sczudlo's work run's much deeper then just photographing musicians... he also takes an in depth look at the banality of middle-class suburban culture. Tonight he turn's the camera on YOU as he roams the party shooting and projecting photograph's live on the wall of the dancefloor... come correct for the lensman!

$mall Change $mall ˘hange (aka James Dier) will never stop. A musical addict, he's been collecting and DJing for over 15 years, has 10s of thousands of records, in every conceivable genre and time period. Seriously deep crates in funk, jazz, blues, soul, latin, reggae, dancehall, hip hop, house, breaks, jungle, booty bass, classics, rawk n' roll, punk, vintage RnB, disco, downtempo, ambient, experimental... you get the picture. Some people say they're eclectic--this homeslice lives it, with the skills to mix it all together.

$mall ˘hange's latest mix, Soundclash is a musical concentration of all things Jamaican, or JA inspired. From vintage and modern dancehall to the heaviest dubs, Jamaican funk and disco covers, reggae samplin' hip hop 12"s, classic ska sides and rare 2-Tone, vintage and modern ragga jungle, turntablist ska tracks and even dancehall singers doing opera. Musical murderation of the past, present and future. 66(!) tracks in all. Some real classics, and some real obscurities. Some real music. What a concept, eh?

Subatomic Sound System (live) Subatomic Sound System is a production crew / live soundsystem / mobile studio / musician's collective born and raised in New York City by Emch and Tha Riddim Doktor. Subatomic fuses the DJ soundsystem tradition with dub studio techniques, bringing the studio flavor into the soundsystem to detonate an improvised explosive new style of music and live performance that combines the flow and diversity of DJ sets, the energy and improvisation of bands, and the sound manipulation techniques of the studio laboratory. Classic and original dub, roots, and dancehall reggae get mashed up with futuristic hip hop and space age drum and bass rhythms that are reworked and rearranged in real time collaborative interaction with a diverse crew of MCs, vocalists, and musicians. Simultaneously, the entire sound is mixed and manipulated live on the spot.

Their latest release, On All Frequencies, "takes on dub, underground hip hop, broken-beat and dancehall and packs them into 14 sonic gems. [The song] 'Ghetto Champion' is what Damien Marley should have been working on... It gives me the same feeling I get listening to early Massive Attack work. Not because of the sound directly, but because of the artistic energy & flavor everyone brings into the project. (ProperlyChilled.com)"

DJ Synapse Transmitting from the planet Breakbeat, DJ Synapse has been collecting and presenting vinyl and other musical sources for many many years. He's a DJ, Organizer, Promoter, Culture Purveyor, and the Promotional Director for Beautiful/Decay Magazine NYC. As a DJ, Synapse is the kind that makes asses sway, while their minds say "Damn...some DJs really DO something besides just play records. He's shared stages with De La Soul, Mos Def, MF Doom, Immortal Technique, Jazzy Jay, Evil Dee, Prince Paul, Vikter Duplait, Red Aalert, Afrika Baby Bam (Jungle Bros.), Stretch Armstrong, Neil Armstrong, Jus Ske, DJ Kiva, Kool Herc, and many more... He mixes Funk, Soul, Reggae, Hip Hop, Breaks, Rock and more.

DRINK SPECIALS! In addition to an hour of open bar from 10:30 - 11:30, each Bug Juice event will feature a signature $3 cocktail created especially for the party by the Bug Juice crew. It's our little way of helping you party all night while keeping your drink tab in check... Just ask for it by name!

Editor's Note: Like all FreeNYC events, everyone involved is top notch and equally part of making the party happen. Therefore, we list all participents in an alphabetical order that does not reflect set times. We create events that are designed to be enjoyable all night long and we urge you to check out everything the evening has to offer. Bug Juice is 21+ and free before 11:00pm ($5 after to support the participants).

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